Swelter and Swoon

Hello August! This is supposed to be the warmest day of the year so far and I am on bunny patrol, ie making sure that our furry friend Pico doesn't succomb to the heat. Rabbits apparently can't get warmer than 85 degrees, and the forecast edging close to 90 today means that all the blinds and curtains are drawn, the lights and electronics off, and I spend the day in the dark all for the protection of Pico.

Desert wildflowers from Tucson this past March. They do much better in the heat than I.

I also have a high likelihood of swooning from the heat today as well. My health has taken another turn the past few weeks, and when I'm coming off of a symptomatic flare, everything seems heightened: I get vertigo again, my balance gets off, I'm more fatigued, etc. Some gelato or  frozen yogurt or something will be called for today, as well as salad for dinner to avoid turning on the oven. It makes me feel like a wuss. I've lived in the desert for crying out loud and now 90 is causing me to worry.

This is the first morning in two weeks where I actually awoke energized, as if all the steroids are finally working their way out of my system. There are bound to be more of them in the coming weeks, but it's nice to feel a modicum of normalcy again even for a little while. We have the unfortunate task of deciding what to do about my "treatment" in the coming days, as it looks like being on nothing is not working. I just wish there were options that didn't involve needles. Well, I exaggerate, there is one on the market, but it is generally agreed upon within the MS community that it wasn't really ready - they were just desperate to have an oral medication option. It can cause dramatically lowered heart rate and apparently some people have died on it. That doesn't leave me feeling too much in a hurry to get on it. There are some more promising meds in the pipeline, but clinical trials are always sooo slow, especially when you are one of the ones waiting for the benefits. Once they start getting better treatments out, maybe the prices can start to come down. As it is, even with insurance, medication costs are in the thousands for most patients. The sticker shock of it all is enough to swoon over.

Last week after my last neuro appointment, the hubby and I were talking under a tree outside of my work before I went back, and this man came over relating his sob story about not qualifing for care from a free clinic because he is on disability, but not having enough money to go to a regular clinic, and needing a few bucks to get a prescription filled. When we told him that we couldn't help because were we just discussing how expensive our own medical costs are, his entire countenance changed. He went from trying to sell is on helping him out to offering help to us on how to get DSHS and Social Security help. He was lost in the quagmire of technicalities of an inefficient system and we are standing at the brink of an equally inefficient system just run by different entities.

Health care as a fee-for-use system doesn't work. No research gets funded unless you have someone with resources get sick. Where are the advocates for the voiceless sick, those without the resources to mobilize the masses with charity drives? Where is my therapeutic Olympic horse? Oh wait, you mean that I have to drop everything to go to any appointment during the work week because in order to maintain the health insurance to pay for said appointments I have to be at work instead, so that's not feasible if you want to get paid. Fee-for-use works great for spot maintenance, such as when you broke your arm roller skating and need acute care. Everybody has a body, therefore everybody needs to pay into and be involved in the system. That way, when your child develops a high fever at 4 am on a saturday morning there are systems in place for you to be able to get treatment instead of waiting for it to get higher and be forced to go the ER (which is supposed to be a last resort, not your primary access point).

Bleh, I hate this issue. I just seems so clearly simple to me, but I never feel like it is articulated well and people are always arguing over it. Upfront costs vs delayed costs. I'll take upfront monthly payments to have something covered later over not paying anything now and being stuck with tens of thousands of dollars out of the blue. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if those who refuse to pay into the system through insurance actually put the money into a dedicated medical only spending account so that they have something when the unexpected arises. Instead they just spend it on other things and then beg the hospitals to lower their bills because they didn't plan for mishaps. It's irresponsible. You don't go to a restaurant and eat a large meal because you didn't eat earlier and then ask the restaurant to forgive the debt, and yet we think it's ok to act this way for medical care.

Time Marchs On

Oh wow, it's already mid July. As it always seems to go, once the good weather hits you loose track of time and then it is gone before you know it. It gets me thinking about all that I have yet to do, which leads me back to grad school... It's been 5.5 years since undergrad and I don't feel like I've accomplished much intellectually, which for someone whose identity has been wrapped around my intellectual persuits is pretty depressing. Life keeps feeling like it is putting up various detours, forcing the scenic route. Generally I prefer the scenic route as the journey is usually the point in life, but I'm getting impatient.

Pico trying to hide in the garden

It is almost like trying to herd a rabbit, or the more famility analogy of trying the herd cats - it doesn't ever seem to work out the way that you would think, no matter how much planning and forethought you invest. For instance, I keep scouting out jobs at all the Global Health (GH) companies in the area, since Seattle is a GH center, and I keep finding entry level jobs, but I just don't have enough experience to progress in the application process. I've looked for various volunteer oppurtunities around the city, but surprisingly most of them happen during the work week instead of the week end, making it impossible with my current work schedule. I've been trying to keep up on the latest anthropological and socially aware research, but without access to the industry publications I am reliant on whatever makes it mainstream. (On that front, there was an interesting story in Friday's Seattle Times about the peopling the the america's and the confirmation of there being multiple contemporaneous groups through coprolite dating in Oregon, but the hubby just found it funny how excited I got over fossilized poop...) These are all reminders about the work to be done and the knowledge yet to be elucidated.

On the more positive note, I have managed to be fairly busy the past month and a half: went to the wedding of my cousin Kyle, had a large father's day dinner with too much food at Perche No in Wallingford, had a girls reunion trip to Austin and San Antonio, Texas with some friends from college, donated my old bike, investigated other Seattle neighborhoods that would be in our price range were we to stay in Seattle for grad school. See, it's not like I haven't had things to do, it just hasn't been what I was hoping for, and that is the stickler. Our own assumptions and expections should not be allowed to get us down, but that is the very basis of why the stock market is so volatile - investor concerns vs investor confidence.

 If only there was a way to take the reigns or helm our own ship so that the waves of uncertainty cease to toss us to and fro. The other option I suppose would be for someone to figure out how to slow down time without it slowing our progess down as well.  Good luck on that...

And behold, Spring!

Looks like I've been slacking, but in reality March was busy for a variety of reasons. One, the weather was super stormy which turns me into a recluse, holed up inside under a blanket trying to pretend that it is something more than 40 degrees outside. Two, we escaped for a weekend to sunny Arizona - the state that I will return to probably my entire life despite it's high purportion of crazies. And three, my MS flared up resulting in me being very drugged the last week of the month.

Desert Wildflowers with Prickly Pear Cactus

But through the drug induced fog we emerge to April and the glories of Spring! The daffodils braved the cold and rain of March, bringing cheer and levity to the hearts of many in the Seattle area! Trees are flowering in a riot of pink and white blossoms! The Tulip Festival in Mount Vernon is up in full glory for the next month! It is actually warm enough, on occasion, to not wear a winter jacket! The sun has come at last... which in turn means that traffic and parking in my neighborhood of Green Lake for the next six months will be horrid as swarms of people descend on the city park to attempt to shed their winter weight and keep it off. One small grippe about that: if you are coming to the park to exercise, park at the Park and Ride a block farther from the park instead of crowding out the residents! One more block after your three mile loop won't kill you.

Now that Passover and Easter are upon us rabbit decor is everywhere; this is Pico's time to shine. He gets to frollick and click his heels as he runs through the yard eating all of the fresh plants trying to live. But it is all in good fun, for who but the most hard hearted doesn't like the visage of a happy flop-eared bunny playing the in the flower beds. Now is the time to go out and weed the garden (for we don't want a forest of oak trees in our backyard, as much as I love trees) and to contemplate planting some veggies. Nothing is better than home grown carrots, peas, and radishes! It just takes planning to get them in the ground in time, or in our case, into pots.

Hurray for naturally getting my vitamin D!

Will Spring be Sprung already!?

Dear Spring,

I miss you. Please hurry up and return; life needs more color. Thanks!

Ange

It is the last weekend in February and it is threatening to snow. This is unacceptable to those of us who grew up with memories of the rare snow day a year, if you were lucky. The bulbs we planted in the yard last fall are begining to sprout, our blueberry plants are budding, and the multitude of strawberries are leafing anew. And yet it is only the high thirties... I love the Pacific Northwest, but our winters suck. Three to four months of solid gray and drizzle can make the most die-hard Seattlite forelorn.

Luckily, we have things like the Spring Tulip Festival in Mount Vernon every year to welcome the new season with vibrant floral goodness. To be fair, once you have gone once you do not really need to go again, but it is always nice to know that every year there will be field of colorful field of flowers, each one a different hue. We haven't gone in four or five years now, and yet the pictures left a lasting impression. What better way to strick away at the gray of the preceeding months than technicolor flowers. If only our yards would catch up to those fields.

At least it is only about three more weeks until winter is officially over. And it just started to hail...