Wascally Wabbit

So, this was supposed to be a blog about philosophical musings of the current happenings in my life. Other than some things that make me really furious about american society and culture (which are two seperate and distinct beasts) there has not been that much preoccupying my mind. Well, except for the mystery of how the rabbit keeps escaping his hutch... I swear that I'm locking it at night and yet he has now twice broken free...

I can only see a few possible scenarios:
1) I'm getting really absent minded and routinely forgetting to lock his hutch.
2) He's getting smarter and has figured out how to undo the latch from within his hutch without the benefits of opposible thumbs.
3) The apartment is haunted, by Harvey - the giant imaginary rabbit, who desires that all other rabbits to be free like him.

As much as I hate to admit it, I think that the most probable answer is #1 - I'm loosing it. Maybe I'm working too much. Do you think that they'd give me time off for rabbit sanity? Probably not, especially with the baby boom that is about to explode this summer. It must be my disease addled brain rebelling. Alas, that too seems an improbable answer.

Maybe he is escaping due to the humiliation that I impose upon him whilst shnuggling...

Looks like this will be a question similar to the tootsie pop dilemma: the world may never know.

And behold, Spring!

Looks like I've been slacking, but in reality March was busy for a variety of reasons. One, the weather was super stormy which turns me into a recluse, holed up inside under a blanket trying to pretend that it is something more than 40 degrees outside. Two, we escaped for a weekend to sunny Arizona - the state that I will return to probably my entire life despite it's high purportion of crazies. And three, my MS flared up resulting in me being very drugged the last week of the month.

Desert Wildflowers with Prickly Pear Cactus

But through the drug induced fog we emerge to April and the glories of Spring! The daffodils braved the cold and rain of March, bringing cheer and levity to the hearts of many in the Seattle area! Trees are flowering in a riot of pink and white blossoms! The Tulip Festival in Mount Vernon is up in full glory for the next month! It is actually warm enough, on occasion, to not wear a winter jacket! The sun has come at last... which in turn means that traffic and parking in my neighborhood of Green Lake for the next six months will be horrid as swarms of people descend on the city park to attempt to shed their winter weight and keep it off. One small grippe about that: if you are coming to the park to exercise, park at the Park and Ride a block farther from the park instead of crowding out the residents! One more block after your three mile loop won't kill you.

Now that Passover and Easter are upon us rabbit decor is everywhere; this is Pico's time to shine. He gets to frollick and click his heels as he runs through the yard eating all of the fresh plants trying to live. But it is all in good fun, for who but the most hard hearted doesn't like the visage of a happy flop-eared bunny playing the in the flower beds. Now is the time to go out and weed the garden (for we don't want a forest of oak trees in our backyard, as much as I love trees) and to contemplate planting some veggies. Nothing is better than home grown carrots, peas, and radishes! It just takes planning to get them in the ground in time, or in our case, into pots.

Hurray for naturally getting my vitamin D!

Will Spring be Sprung already!?

Dear Spring,

I miss you. Please hurry up and return; life needs more color. Thanks!

Ange

It is the last weekend in February and it is threatening to snow. This is unacceptable to those of us who grew up with memories of the rare snow day a year, if you were lucky. The bulbs we planted in the yard last fall are begining to sprout, our blueberry plants are budding, and the multitude of strawberries are leafing anew. And yet it is only the high thirties... I love the Pacific Northwest, but our winters suck. Three to four months of solid gray and drizzle can make the most die-hard Seattlite forelorn.

Luckily, we have things like the Spring Tulip Festival in Mount Vernon every year to welcome the new season with vibrant floral goodness. To be fair, once you have gone once you do not really need to go again, but it is always nice to know that every year there will be field of colorful field of flowers, each one a different hue. We haven't gone in four or five years now, and yet the pictures left a lasting impression. What better way to strick away at the gray of the preceeding months than technicolor flowers. If only our yards would catch up to those fields.

At least it is only about three more weeks until winter is officially over. And it just started to hail...

Perhaps Some School Pride?

In my never ending search for a graduate program that not only interests but excites me, I went back to the website of my alma mater, the School of Human Evolution and Social Change (SHESC) at Arizona State University. Now, ASU is often derided as being a party school, so easy to get into that there is no prestige, but ASU has come a long way under current president Michael Crowe. They have embraced the idea that academic rigor and exclusivity are not bound to each other. The idea that you can have a school where practically anyone can not only be admitted but afford to go and that also academically challenges the students seems to be unique in the landscape of American academia. Now, I'm not the most spirited person in terms of school pride or whatever you want to call it, but in this one area ASU continues to make me proud. It seems that the detractors are those who remember ASU like it used to be and do not realize what it has become. Take, for instance, the School of Human Evolution and Social Change.

Grady Gammage Performance Hall at ASU Tempe

Most universities and colleges have an Anthropology program, but none compares in excitement or in the depth of interdisciplinarian focus about the field than ASU. Most schools try to make it into the stodgy old study of dead cultures and the belittling study of the last remaining tribal cultures. There is such a cultural emphasis on specialization in academia that little effort is placed on studying how interconnected the varying aspects of life are - except from what I've seen of ASU's anthropology program. They seem to be the only ones who understand how vital it is, for not only the interconnected global culture that is developing but also for the microcosm of American culture, to understand how such broad ranging disciplines as economics, health, politics, biology, theology, and the arts all interact and feed off one another. It is enough to make me wish that I was a few years younger and still in the program. The formation of SHESC happen during the end of my junior year, and therefore most of the newer advancements (the global health BA and MA programs, vast expansion of its field schools, new requirements for study abroad and internships, etc) happened just after I left. I am extremely jealous. One of the things I think should be mandatory for graduation from college is a cultural exchange to a non-first-world country as a way of showing students the vast diversity of the world as well as the consequences of their business decisions; it is exciting to see undergraduate programs, like ASU's Global Health BA, independently requiring this. When I was at ASU, the field schools were limited to physical anthropology and archaeology digs in the midwest or in Africa and one ethnographic field school in Mexico - none if which I was interested in.

If I stood a chance of getting in, I would apply. At the time of graduation, I remember asking one of my professors about the ASU graduate school and the answer was to be expected - they do not often admit their own graduates as they want a diversity of educational experiences. From what I've heard, that is pretty standard across public universities. For those of us who have watched the program they graduated from change so drastically that you could argue that I've not really been a part of the program. Alas, the bigger hurdle would be the hubby not wanting to move back to Phoenix. Every time I look at schools, ASU just keeps coming to mind. I went there as an undergraduate on a whim, and now I feel like a tractor beam is pullling me back. I love the Pacific Northwest, and I love the idea of going somewhere new, but these other schools just do not know how to sell their programs like ASU does.

Crossroads are always befuddling

It seems like the new year is upon us and we can not avoid making some life changing decisions this year; they have been put off long enough. The short version is: save money to buy a house versus save money to go to graduate school, both complicated by health care and employment questions. As the old saying goes, as a door closes a window opens, but who really wants to be the one to close that door themselves?

Here's the breakdown of the options:

 (a) Buy a House - As all the newspapers, radio, and television broadcasts are apt to remind you, now is a great time to buy a house if you can afford to as prices are at record lows, interest rates are at record lows, and the selection is still pretty good to get into a good neighborhood. Everything says that now is the time to move, but realistically the soonest that will happen for us is in about 1-2 years since we need to save roughly $500 a month to afford a down payment. It is doable, although it will not be all that easy. It will mean bringing lunch to work daily for a year for both of us, not going out to eat - which we already rarely do, taking the bus/cycling/walking as many places as possible, and not incurring any large bills along the way. We've already begun to build our credit through the socially deplorable credit card system (that is worth a whole other entry about the decrepitude of credit cards) and through paying down my student loans. While setting a decent financial standing for ourselves is a good start, it will still be a stretch to get into the areas that we'd want to buy in, especially considering that we are trying to avoid buying a second car. In order to avoid that additional purchase, we would need to move within the Seattle metropolitan area that is readily connected by transit and light rail to the downtown core. It's better for our health and pocket book to live somewhere that is not car dependent.

(b) Go to Graduate School - This is not necessarily in conflict with buying a house, but that is very dependent on where I can find a program that is a good fit. The public health progam at the University of Washington will definately be applied to, but the main problem there is that the faculty does not focus on what I would like to focus on, meaning that while I could go through the program and graduate and get into the field I long for, my field of expertise would be different than what I'm currently most interested in. Graduate School, like all post-secondary education, is an innately selfish thing to do - it is all about you. The programs that interest me most are on the otherside of the country, as the west only has a handful of accredited programs. This would mean a complete change in our lives that I'm not entirely sure we want to do. I've always said that the Seattle area is one area that if you don't leave when you are young you will never leave, and it feels like we are getting enough roots down here that moving will be more difficult than it would have been a few years ago. It is not impossible, but with all of my doctors here, most of our family here, and the hubby finally beginning to get some work experience, it doesn't feel like a good time to leave. Graduate school is something that I feel I must do, but the timing of it is less certain.

(c) Health Considerations - The past year we have been lucky in that I've been pretty healthy, except when it comes to side effects from the medication I was one. Now that that has been stopped, we get to choose between the other possible options - all with worse side effects, or not going on any and taking the chance of a relapse. Plus there is the whole family planning issue, as none of the approved medications are safe for pregnancy and require washout periods for the medication to leave your system before even starting. In addition, none of the other possible medications are approved by my insurance, meaning that we'd be paying much higher monthly just to received the meds. Health maintenance is expensive once you have a "pre-existing condition;" as a result I need to maintain health coverage through an employer while going to grad school because it will be near impossible for me to afford to self-insure for the two years it would take to get the degree. Most jobs grant insurance benefits at 30 hours a week. Being a full time student while working 30 hours a week sounds really taxing from my current perspective. The hubby is currently self-insured, meaning we also have to pay for his health coverage unless he gets a good full-time job with benefits. It is situations like this that make me long for nationalized health care. The stress of how we can manage to keep ourselves covered is enough to make us not want to pursue our passions.

(d) Career Considerations - As has probably become clear, neither the hubby or I are currently in the fields we would ultimately like to build a career in. We'd like to do something that is both creative and intellectually fulfilling; I'd like to travel more and feel like I'm working for a higher mission than just making profit. I can't pursue my interests without going back to school. He can't pursue his without drastically retooling his skills as the field of journalism has changed dramatically since he graduated from college.  We both can't leave our current situations at once, as we need an income to survive on. I'd have to say that the vast majority of people we know from our graduating classes are either unemployed or under-employed due to the current economic mess.  That does not inspire us to cut all safety nets of our current jobs to pursue a career, and yet we are both frustrated by our situations. 

Basically, one of these issues is going to have to be decided upon in the next few weeks in order to move forward. It just feels like we are stuck in a holding pattern, like our choices are few, which is not really the case. Maybe I'm just overthinking everything again. It makes me anxious to contemplate stepping out of my safe job in my safe community to do something selfish like go to school. I should be lucky that I am even in the position to make such decisions, especially as a woman in a first world country.  If only there was a way to have the path elucidated without such animosity and uncertainty - makes me feel like a wuss sometimes.

Time to Get Professional

After a thorough review of our photo inventory, it has been discovered that I don't have any professional demenour photos of myself. In otherwords, I'm always making a goofy face, holding the rabbit, or am with someone else. The only ones that are mildly passable in this regard are from the wedding, and I'm not going to use a wedding photo for a professional identifier. This simply will not do, especially if I plan on gearing up to promote myself. It may stem from lifelong self-image issues, but as the hubby loves to tell me, I have a pretty bad fake smile - or should I say forced smile. I don't like showing my teeth as it feels a bit too chimp like.

Proof that I never make normal faces, even for my husband

I've decided that I need more mental stimulization, which is one of the motivating factors of this blog, so I'm yet again scanning through available jobs of interest to see what kind of further training I would need to obtain one of them. So far the answer seems pretty self explanitory: masters in public health or social work. It is something that I have suspected and now known  for a few months now, but it still leaves me floundering a bit when I come to that conclusion. If only if didn't cost so much time and money to achieve. School was always easy and usually energizing for me, and now that I've been away for 5 years to the day tomorrow, it seems difficult to get the wheels turning again. At times I wish I had never stopped, even though I understand and still agree with the reasons. Several friends have recently graduated from graduate school with their advanced degrees and I can't help but feel a twinge of envy. 

Back in the summer of 2006 I was in Switzerland with the future hubby's family. We were up in the Alps hiking down from the Schilthorn (the famous revolving restaurant of James Bond movie fame) when we stopped at a cliff side meadow for a short break. I remember sitting on the edge of the cliff looking over, completely unafraid while getting scolded for doing something so potentially perilous. At times I wish the hestency that comes with getting older and having more responsibilities didn't exist. Had I never worked within the medical field I would potentially not have so much paranoia about medical costs or a fear of being without health insurance which keeps me from being truly ambitious. I've become very skiddish about certain things over time, or perhaps I was always this way - hyper rational and now at the point where its becoming a hinderance. Well, there's no use of pouting about it now.  I guess that I'll just have to make the hubby take some more professional photos of me.

And it feels like a rather blustery day

This time of year, when the rain is pouring and the wind is blowing, I have the songs from the original Winnie the Pooh movie stuck in my head near constantly. I can't help it - its like a jukebox up there. Especially while waiting for the bus after work standing infront of a Thai restaurant seeing the leaves and the rain blowing horizontal, it helps to have a happy innocent little jingle cycling through my mind to pass the time. I have many memories of childhood walking home from school in the rainy Octobers and Novembers of years gone by cleaning out the storm drains with my shoes as I went. I always liked wading into the giant puddles and then watching them disappear.

My parents have told stories of the practically annual Thanksgiving Day storms, where the turkeys were cook on barbeques, camp stoves, fire places, etc, just to make the meal go off as planned. I don't know if I would be that determined. I'd just eat some salad and some cold mashed potatoes, wrap up in a blanket, and take a nap. The power never stayed out long growing up, since we were close to a hospital and therefore one of the first grid squares to get fixed. For those few precise hours when we were reverted to the ninteenth century were always met with anticipation. A fire would be built, candles would get lit, and dad would break out the acoustic guitar to pass the time - a grand amusement for a young child. It always makes me think about a combination of the early settlers a la Little House on the Prarie and the roughly 1.6 billion people in the world who live without electricity daily.

Candle lit jail at the Kasbah of Chefchaouen, Sept 2011

The two times I've been to Africa so far have each had their moments without electricity. On this last trip to Morocco, we awoke in the small mountain town of Chefchaouen to find that all the power was out. We went into town to bide our time, which was not an issue for most things. We visited the Kasbah, which having been build before electricity came to the Rif Mountains, had adequate windows and skylights that seeing was not a problem. In the darker areas, such as the jail, the candles gave an eerie, almost haunted quality to the low ceiling and the chains. The only problem we faced was needing to get more cash for dinner - remedied by the US cash that I brought alone for back up as all the ATMs were down. Life goes on without electricity. Since multiple forms of power are utilized (gas, wood, coal, sunlight), their world doesn't stop with a brown out as it does in the US. Similarly, the power went down in Egypt and Ethiopia. You've never seen so many stars as in the Simien mountains at 10,000 ft with the power out. (Mental note - start packing a small flashlight when travelling... it would have made getting back to our room much easier and the night sounds less intimidating)

Winter in the Pacific Northwest almost always means stormy weather, which in turn means an acute sense of the hard life of the poor. No one wants to think about sleeping outside when it gets into the 30s (or lower) at night. We all feel better when emergency shelters for the night are able to open and when we give our token can of cranberry sauce to the holiday food drives. When it gets dark by 4pm, we prefer not to think about navigating the cold dark night alone. While waiting for the bus the other night a man came by asking for change. After one person told him "I'm sorry" instead of a direct no, he retorted "Don't be sorry, you're alive!" He continued to ramble about it as the person walked away, but it cause me to think: are we really sorry or do we just say that we are sorry to assuage our own guilt for choosing to not give the change from the bottom of our bags. I never carry cash and therefore almost never have any change, except for the odd penny or nickel I find on the ground. Perhaps this behavior has developed as a way to not feel the guilt of saying no since I have nothing to give.