February flew by, as the shortest month of the year should I suppose, but holy cow it's already March! Luckily, we have not been idle since the end of January. In that time a few of the big uncertainties have been fleshed out. We picked up my family heirloom cradle to use for the first few months of impending child's life, bought a dresser of Craig's List that my parents are helping us repair and refinish, had our last ultrasound of the baby - he's looking very human and pretty much will just spend the next few weeks plumping up, and took our childbirth class. Pretty much every weekend has been filled with at least one major to-do item, which helps my stress level but doesn't leave too much chill time. I suspect though that down time will be in short supply for the next few months if not years.
We also have been working to figure out our living situation. We can't stay in our apartment for a whole additional year (the floor plan doesn't suit it even though the square footag does) so we're moving forward simultaneously on both trying to get pre-approved for a mortgage and looking for new apartments. Our landlord has been gracious enough to let us go month-to-month for a little while since we can't move the month our lease is up due to the baby's arrival, plus he's not raising the rent. We just need to try to move out as soon as we can; my goal is by the end of the summer at the latest. Hopefully it will be into something purchased, but if we can't get approved for an amount that would put us in areas that work for us (ie don't force us to get a second car) then we'll look at renting a few years more and trying to save more money. We've got an appointment later in the month to go over our application, but I'm trying to not stress out over the outcome. It will happen eventually, so we'll just take what ever happens with a grain of salt and press forward.
As far as the pregnancy goes, I've been feeling pretty good up until the last week or so. We learned at the ultrasound that he's already head down, and it seems like once that change happened I've been a lot more uncomfortable and a lot less flexible. I'm even considering asking for a referral for a prenatal massage to see if that helps. With a good 2 months left to go if all goes according to plan, I'd prefer not to be in pain. It feels like I've pulled or strained a few muscles in my back trying to get up out of both bed and the couch, so I'm trying to stretch and use better body mechanics when moving. I'm not moving boxes any more at work, resulting in sitting more throughout the day which in turn is causing in more swelling of the feet and ankles by the end of the day due to being more stationary. I just hope that I can keep my activity level up and not get too tired. Riding the bus almost daily helps force me to move around, but I'd prefer to be a little more comfortable while doing so.
Umm.... I think that's really about it. We've got our infant safety class still to take, baby showers to attend, a few more doctors appointments and that pre-approval meeting I had mentioned, but otherwise all planned events are done and out of the way. We now just get to focus on waiting for the arrival of our little man. I just hope that I can handle it with as little intervention as possible just to speed recovery time; I don't do well just resting all day which I hear is the recommendation for about 2-6 weeks with a c-section. Let's just say that is not going to be realistic for our lifestyle... especially the whole part about avoiding going up and down stairs. Our basement apartment makes that a mandatory daily activity no matter what the doctors recommend.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Human Llama Racing to the Finish!
As of this week we are 25/40 weeks into this pregnancy and our food budget is feeling the pinch almost as much as my wardrobe. Between the hubby's non-stop grazing and my increased snacking and the odd craving or two, we are spending soooo much more money on food. For the most part it has been healthy, but there is always in the back of your mind this nagging voice saying "slow the heck down!" I work across the street from a PCC market, which is a high end local and organic co-op market, so the worst of the snack food isn't even an option, but even though I'm buying somewhat healthier snacks I'm still eating and spending a ton. This has got to stop, especially in light of trying to save money for the three months that I'm going to be on leave, for the eventual downpayment of a house, and for the third mouth to feed and clothe.
The first half of this pregnancy felt like it crawled by, and now it feels like I have hardly any time left! We've still got almost three months, but I'm crossing off the last month as usable time since I'm unsure how much energy and motivation I'm going to have. I want to get as much done now as possible without rushing things. We took our homebuyer's education seminar last week, are getting ready to open an IRA for the spouse's retirement future, deciding whether or not we're ready to start the pre-approval process for getting a mortgage knowing that there are things we are probably going to need to fix. I spent one night this week completely reorganizing our financial documents and getting ready to complete our taxes once we receive the last W-2. I always try to get them done in February just to get them out of the way.
All of the preparation for the future and examining finances makes it startlingly clear how easy it is to slide into poverty in this country. I refuse to sink into the cycle of only buying the cheapest food available as you will pay for that in the end with the health impacts, but that does mean reprioritzing to make it all work out. We're fine now, but things are definately going to get tighter as the year progresses. Trying to figure out if it is financially better for me to reduce hours to 32-25 instead of 40 after maternity leave to allow the hubs to work more or to basically leave him only the weekends for paid employment. Paying for childcare for an infant is somewhere in the range of $50-$100 more a week than a 1-year old (and even then it is still in the $150-$200 range), so if we can swing it by alternating our schedules for 9 months until his first birthday we'd save a ton, like almost $4000 over 9 months.
We still need to pick up the cradle from my cousin, find a dresser to use as a changing table, figure out clothe or disposable diapers, and look into breast pump rental; since we don't know how long my health will allow breastfeeding since no MS drug is approved for while breastfeeding it doesn't make since to purchase one and potentiall only be able to use it for 2-3 months. Plus there is the delayed christmas that we are having in February when the in-laws get back in the country from Asia - still need to finish the presents for that...
And then there is work. I'm trying to not freak out since I'm not in a position of authority to control things at all, but I'm concerned about the state of things while I'm gone. We are going through a period of hiring new staff right now and depending on how long that takes, the new lead at my location may or may not be up to snuff by the time I leave. When I've left in the past, such as for my periodic month off the continent every few years, it always takes me a few weeks to get things caught back up even with people covering my position while gone. That is not to say that my coworkers are incompetent, but there are always things that get over looked that I end up having to clean up once I get back. I'm resisting the urge to make a daily checklist for the position of what you are supposed to do for each task. I feel like my efficiency level is such that I could reduce my hours and get everything done, but I'm not so sure about others. It's probably just my ego talking, or at least I hope it is. I'd rather be proven wrong in this instance.
I suppose that it is perfectly normal to have a mid-pregnancy freak out and this is my month to have it. Luckily everything with the pregnancy itself is going well, although the next big test is coming up in 2 weeks - the dreaded gestational diabetes test. High hopes that it turns out normal, but seeing as how all predictions I've had about the pregnancy have been wrong I'm going to try to leave my expectations at the door.
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| Llama chowing down. Sometimes I resemble this... |
The first half of this pregnancy felt like it crawled by, and now it feels like I have hardly any time left! We've still got almost three months, but I'm crossing off the last month as usable time since I'm unsure how much energy and motivation I'm going to have. I want to get as much done now as possible without rushing things. We took our homebuyer's education seminar last week, are getting ready to open an IRA for the spouse's retirement future, deciding whether or not we're ready to start the pre-approval process for getting a mortgage knowing that there are things we are probably going to need to fix. I spent one night this week completely reorganizing our financial documents and getting ready to complete our taxes once we receive the last W-2. I always try to get them done in February just to get them out of the way.
All of the preparation for the future and examining finances makes it startlingly clear how easy it is to slide into poverty in this country. I refuse to sink into the cycle of only buying the cheapest food available as you will pay for that in the end with the health impacts, but that does mean reprioritzing to make it all work out. We're fine now, but things are definately going to get tighter as the year progresses. Trying to figure out if it is financially better for me to reduce hours to 32-25 instead of 40 after maternity leave to allow the hubs to work more or to basically leave him only the weekends for paid employment. Paying for childcare for an infant is somewhere in the range of $50-$100 more a week than a 1-year old (and even then it is still in the $150-$200 range), so if we can swing it by alternating our schedules for 9 months until his first birthday we'd save a ton, like almost $4000 over 9 months.
We still need to pick up the cradle from my cousin, find a dresser to use as a changing table, figure out clothe or disposable diapers, and look into breast pump rental; since we don't know how long my health will allow breastfeeding since no MS drug is approved for while breastfeeding it doesn't make since to purchase one and potentiall only be able to use it for 2-3 months. Plus there is the delayed christmas that we are having in February when the in-laws get back in the country from Asia - still need to finish the presents for that...
And then there is work. I'm trying to not freak out since I'm not in a position of authority to control things at all, but I'm concerned about the state of things while I'm gone. We are going through a period of hiring new staff right now and depending on how long that takes, the new lead at my location may or may not be up to snuff by the time I leave. When I've left in the past, such as for my periodic month off the continent every few years, it always takes me a few weeks to get things caught back up even with people covering my position while gone. That is not to say that my coworkers are incompetent, but there are always things that get over looked that I end up having to clean up once I get back. I'm resisting the urge to make a daily checklist for the position of what you are supposed to do for each task. I feel like my efficiency level is such that I could reduce my hours and get everything done, but I'm not so sure about others. It's probably just my ego talking, or at least I hope it is. I'd rather be proven wrong in this instance.
I suppose that it is perfectly normal to have a mid-pregnancy freak out and this is my month to have it. Luckily everything with the pregnancy itself is going well, although the next big test is coming up in 2 weeks - the dreaded gestational diabetes test. High hopes that it turns out normal, but seeing as how all predictions I've had about the pregnancy have been wrong I'm going to try to leave my expectations at the door.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
A Year of Changes
For our little family, 2013 is bound to be different from 2012 for several reasons, some obvious, others not so much.
There is of course the most obvious - the impending birth of our first child this spring. This will no doubt change our lives for the better. Instead of the spouse and rabbit and I, we will now how another noiser mouth to feed, clothe, and cart around with us. I cannot express the level of excitement in the house as we slowly accumulate stuff for our new little man. And yes, that does mean that unless the US was really off, we're having a little boy. I'm still out numbered males to females in the house.
Other highly probable changes due to occur:
We move somewhere new to accomodate the added human in the household. We're still unsure that we can afford to realistically buy a place in the areas we'd like before the little one is born, but we are trying to get our act together so that if the oppurtunity presents itself we will be able to pounce. We've signed up for a Homebuyers Education Seminar later this month which will earn us a certificate good for 2 years allowing access to lower interest and down payment rates than we'd be able to get without it. Even if we don't buy something, we'll still probably move to a larger rental somewhere hopefully nearby. I'd still like to avoid buying an additional car.
I start on a new MS medication. One big mystery for us is how my immune system will come back post-pardum. That will determine how quickly I need to get back on medication, but I assume that it will more than likely be about 6 months from birth, which would be this coming November. No MS drugs currently on the market are approved for while breastfeeding, so I'd like to avoid going back on something as long as possible but realize that could be anywhere from 3 weeks to 1 year. As a result I need to start researching medications again to try to find the most tolerable. I liked the results I was getting on what I was on previously, but that is no longer an option as I ran out of injection sites.
The hubs starts a new job. With the added mouth to feed, the spouse will most likely be finding either a second part time job or finding one full time job with better pay. This is very much so up in the air, and I have little to no control over any of it, so there's really not much more I can say. We'll see what he finds. I have high hopes for him, but every time I try to push or encourage one direction or another it seems to not really work, so we'll see what happens.
And then there are all of the larger geo-political changes that are going on in the world around us, such as the financial mess caused by our elected officials and our culture of refusing to say no to our wants. It seems like we satisfy our wants while starving our needs. We want to have low taxes, but we also need to ensure that there is a social safety net for those who are unable for a variety of reasons to take care of themselves. Being poor is not a crime and we need to stop penalizing the less fortunate as if they are convicted criminals. The suggestion by many to have mandatory drug testing to receive government assistance won't solve the fraud issue (which when actually investigated is not nearly as rampant as some would have you believe); it will just serve to make people more distrustful of the system. We want to have access to all sorts of firearms as civilians, but we need to take a hard look at our culture of glorifying violence and the tools that allow people to live out those darker tendencies. A firearm may just be a tool for destruction and not in itself able to inflict harm, but the ramifications for those whose carelessness results in someone else taking their tool to commit atrocities are paultry. If I had my way, the registered owner of a weapon that is used for a crime should be able to be charged with aiding and abetting for not properly safeguarding their weapon. It is just a pipe dream of mine, but something has to change.
Life has a funny way of working itself out, and that is without our constant attempts at steering its course. May the new year bring many pleasant surprising and thought provoking challenges.
There is of course the most obvious - the impending birth of our first child this spring. This will no doubt change our lives for the better. Instead of the spouse and rabbit and I, we will now how another noiser mouth to feed, clothe, and cart around with us. I cannot express the level of excitement in the house as we slowly accumulate stuff for our new little man. And yes, that does mean that unless the US was really off, we're having a little boy. I'm still out numbered males to females in the house.
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| Our camera shy little guy finally gave a decent profile after over an hour |
Other highly probable changes due to occur:
We move somewhere new to accomodate the added human in the household. We're still unsure that we can afford to realistically buy a place in the areas we'd like before the little one is born, but we are trying to get our act together so that if the oppurtunity presents itself we will be able to pounce. We've signed up for a Homebuyers Education Seminar later this month which will earn us a certificate good for 2 years allowing access to lower interest and down payment rates than we'd be able to get without it. Even if we don't buy something, we'll still probably move to a larger rental somewhere hopefully nearby. I'd still like to avoid buying an additional car.
I start on a new MS medication. One big mystery for us is how my immune system will come back post-pardum. That will determine how quickly I need to get back on medication, but I assume that it will more than likely be about 6 months from birth, which would be this coming November. No MS drugs currently on the market are approved for while breastfeeding, so I'd like to avoid going back on something as long as possible but realize that could be anywhere from 3 weeks to 1 year. As a result I need to start researching medications again to try to find the most tolerable. I liked the results I was getting on what I was on previously, but that is no longer an option as I ran out of injection sites.
The hubs starts a new job. With the added mouth to feed, the spouse will most likely be finding either a second part time job or finding one full time job with better pay. This is very much so up in the air, and I have little to no control over any of it, so there's really not much more I can say. We'll see what he finds. I have high hopes for him, but every time I try to push or encourage one direction or another it seems to not really work, so we'll see what happens.
And then there are all of the larger geo-political changes that are going on in the world around us, such as the financial mess caused by our elected officials and our culture of refusing to say no to our wants. It seems like we satisfy our wants while starving our needs. We want to have low taxes, but we also need to ensure that there is a social safety net for those who are unable for a variety of reasons to take care of themselves. Being poor is not a crime and we need to stop penalizing the less fortunate as if they are convicted criminals. The suggestion by many to have mandatory drug testing to receive government assistance won't solve the fraud issue (which when actually investigated is not nearly as rampant as some would have you believe); it will just serve to make people more distrustful of the system. We want to have access to all sorts of firearms as civilians, but we need to take a hard look at our culture of glorifying violence and the tools that allow people to live out those darker tendencies. A firearm may just be a tool for destruction and not in itself able to inflict harm, but the ramifications for those whose carelessness results in someone else taking their tool to commit atrocities are paultry. If I had my way, the registered owner of a weapon that is used for a crime should be able to be charged with aiding and abetting for not properly safeguarding their weapon. It is just a pipe dream of mine, but something has to change.
Life has a funny way of working itself out, and that is without our constant attempts at steering its course. May the new year bring many pleasant surprising and thought provoking challenges.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
TV killed the holiday mood
Maybe its just a hold over from the political season that just ended, but I'm already sick of all the holiday adds that have now replaced the political ones. It's only 29 days until christmas and if you believe the adds on tv, all the good loot is nearly gone! Heaven forbid you actually have to budget out the holidays and not spend >$750 - which is supposed to be the per shopper average this year. Yeah... for all this talk of debt and fiscal crisis we sure are ready to spend money we really don't have on things we really don't need in the name of holiday sales. The worst was a Walmart commercial I saw where a man is trying to convince the woman that they need a new tv even though a)they already have one and b) it is too expensive. Sadly, the man wins under the premise of "we can put it on our Walmart credit card" which basically means you are paying for something you don't need with money you don't have. This made me physically sick that they be so blatant about the excess of it all. Additionally, I was looking up the top toys this year for kids and they actually recommend you buy a five year old boy an ipad... Not happening in my household. If they want something that expensive they get to save their money and buy it themselves. Same thing goes for video games and anything else that is more than $50 and highly breakable.
I could blame it on hormones I suppose, but I haven't really felt that "crazy" so it wouldn't feel genuine. If the hubby hadn't unplugged my stereo for his Playstation, I would totally just put a cd on instead of the TV for noise. Intolerance of silence it the really driver behind all the TV watching. The last three months of college when I didn't have cable or internet in my apartment were surprisingly easy to deal with and motivating. Instead of turning into a blob after work maybe I'd actually do more things, such as update this blog, read up on baby stuff, do christmas shopping/maybe even make gifts this year instead. After spending all day at work on the computer I usually try to avoid being on it at home if for no other reason than to save my eyes the added strain, but the tv is really not much better. Perhaps if it wasn't pitch black by the time I get home I'd be more motivated as well but short of moving somewhere farther south that won't be happening.
Besides, there are plenty of indoor things to do during the cold dark northern winters. For example, there are always more Pico songs to invent, more cleaning to be done, more reading of books that actually intellectually challenge you, more holiday baking, and definately more exercising and baby planning. I've got to embrace the quiet in these last few months, because who knows how loud this impending child will be. We're hoping it takes after my near muteness as a child (I've never seen the point in small talk), but the odds don't look good.
Lets hope that I can find a way to salvage the holiday cheer without breaking the bank or driving the hubby crazy with nonstop christmas music. There's about a 50% chance of success.
I could blame it on hormones I suppose, but I haven't really felt that "crazy" so it wouldn't feel genuine. If the hubby hadn't unplugged my stereo for his Playstation, I would totally just put a cd on instead of the TV for noise. Intolerance of silence it the really driver behind all the TV watching. The last three months of college when I didn't have cable or internet in my apartment were surprisingly easy to deal with and motivating. Instead of turning into a blob after work maybe I'd actually do more things, such as update this blog, read up on baby stuff, do christmas shopping/maybe even make gifts this year instead. After spending all day at work on the computer I usually try to avoid being on it at home if for no other reason than to save my eyes the added strain, but the tv is really not much better. Perhaps if it wasn't pitch black by the time I get home I'd be more motivated as well but short of moving somewhere farther south that won't be happening.
Besides, there are plenty of indoor things to do during the cold dark northern winters. For example, there are always more Pico songs to invent, more cleaning to be done, more reading of books that actually intellectually challenge you, more holiday baking, and definately more exercising and baby planning. I've got to embrace the quiet in these last few months, because who knows how loud this impending child will be. We're hoping it takes after my near muteness as a child (I've never seen the point in small talk), but the odds don't look good.
Lets hope that I can find a way to salvage the holiday cheer without breaking the bank or driving the hubby crazy with nonstop christmas music. There's about a 50% chance of success.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Things that go bump
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| Our annual pumpkin tradition - a pico inspired jack-o-lantern |
First off, Happy Halloween! I can't believe it's already the end of October. I feel like a slacker who has been avoiding writing. Truth is, big changes are afoot.
By this time next week the election will finally be over. It has felt like this has drug on for the past year and a half at least, so it will be just grand to get it done and over with - no matter what the outcome. I'm hopeful that my preferences will have a winning shot, but you never know until all the ballots are counted, so I'll resist predictions and analysis until afterwards. There are bound to be road bumps from both sides on multiple issues. I fully suspect at least one legal challenge to some election decision.
Secondly, the other thing thing that goes bump is my belly as Bryant and I are bound to be parents this coming spring. I'm just barely beginning to show and finally not so nauseated. The vomitting has subsided to only once ever 3-4 days instead of almost daily, which is a vast improvement. I'll be happier still when it leaves me for good, or at least once a month or more instead of weekly. We are both excited and a bit nervous (who wouldn't be?) and are slowly beginning to prepare for the incoming change. We have a tour of the hospital labor and delivery ward next week and will probably start looking at our living arrangement options pretty seriously in the coming weeks. We can last where we currently are until mystery baby is maybe six months old, but seeing as how our lease is up the month we're due, some decision will need to be made well before then. That launches us back into the rent vs try to buy scenario yet again.
It has felt for so long like progress has been put on hold, and now yet again everything is happening at once. I suppose slow and steady is not the way that life will be for us. Grad school has been pushed off another year or two, depending on time, money, and energy; it's a good thing though, as the new health laws won't be finalized until 2014, so I've got a little time for things to smooth out on that front.
Seeing as how I don't really have details on anything at this point, I'll just have to leave it at this. I promise not to wait so long next time, if for no other reason than my own intellectual stimulation.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Cold War
It's election season and I can't stand it. It is if the country plunges into a political cold war between two disparate ideologies. There are so many things wrong with the way politics are carried out in this country, despite our lauding of the system and exportation of it to other countries. It helps to purpetuate some of the great lies in American culture (of which all cultures have, just to be clear).
What lies might those be? There is the great white washing of history, where we are told everyone came here of their own free will in pursuit of freedom and success. Well, sort of, except for all of those slaves that were imported, and all of the political exiles over the years, and what about the native populations that were already here... We are told that the country was found for religious freedoms, when in reality that was only a small segment of the early settlers, the rest were looking for economic gain both for themselves and their crown. We are told that the US has never lost a war, but what about the war of 1812, where we invaded Canada for not real reason other than our own expansionist ideals and were beaten back by the Canadians and the local Amerindians. That one has been expunged from our memory so much that even if you read the Wikipedia entry about the war it tells of US victory, although not as triumphantly as other wars, when the reality is more complicated. If Jefferson hadn't stated that the conquest of Canada would be a mere matter of marching, do we really think that just 40 years after our own independence we would feel competent enough to invade someone else? And these are just the historical fallicies that we pass down generation to generation as a matter of building patriotism. I find it sickening.
The worst of all the American cultural lies is the idea of supremecy over every other people on the planet. "We're #1" is the rallying cry of the brainwashed in this society, and it only gets worse during election season. How do the political parties try to make the opposition loose favor with the general populace? By showing them as making us less than the greatest by their standards of course. This politician is making us too european, and you don't want that because who would want to be like them? That politician will let all of the untrained, hapless rubbish from other countries that somehow managed to make it here citizens, which will dilute our greatness. The scapegoating of minorities gets to an all time high, whether it be ethnic or social minority makes no difference - if you are not part of mainstream consumerist USA you had better watch out or during election season the problems of the country will be placed squarely on your shoulders; by the way which is why we should limit your freedoms to preserve those of the mainstream. Or at least that is what the attack adds would have you believe.
This is the time of year that I avoid watching television because all you see during every commercial break is hatred and fearmongering. You rarely, if ever, see a positive add for a candidate that does not denegrate the opposition. It speaks a lot to the depravity of the political parties that they refuse to admit that there are multiple good people for the job, or even multiple viable solutions to our problems. No one person and no one ideology will save us from self destructions, which is essentially the problem we are having right now. The economy is sluggish right now because we believe in the power of capitalism, but if the masses don't have the resources to buy things, capitalism can't keep surging our GDP upwards. The solution? Give people more money to buy things, either through tax cuts (which just makes our federal cash flow problem worse) or by raising minimum wages (which makes those with the money mad because they feel like they earned their millions and don't need to share it with the workers who helped them make their millions) or through incentives (buy this new car and receive tax credits for the purchase).
All this reminds me of my favorite Sting song, "Russians", and in particular, a certain line that floats about my head each time I hear political banter: "There is no monopoly of common sense on either side of the political fence." While written about the historical Cold War between Russia and the West, particularly the US, I find the sentiment applies to any political stalemate. If only the mass populace would see it, or be allowed to even broach the idea, it could have a lot of good. At the very least we may be able to have a rational, educated debate about our problems instead of resorting to hysteria and gut reactions. The rash of gun violence in this country? Maybe that means we need to reexamine our gun laws to see if there is something we are actively doing that is making the situation worse. The unemployment rates? Maybe cutting all of the education funding wasn't such a good idea as we now don't have enough training centers to get people retooled for the jobs available, and the ones we do have are overbooked and overpriced to the point that the unemployed can't afford to retrain. Immigration? Maybe if we started seeing those coming here as human beings instead of "illegals" we might take a different approach. That doesn't mean no punishment for breaking the law, but it also doesn't mean treating them less than human which is part of our current practice along the desert borders. Social security nets, such as medicaid and welfare? If would be nice if both sides would agree that being poor is not a crime - they are not leeches on society that need to be treated with the same reproach as parolees from prison with constant drug testing and supervision. They are people that have not being able to acheive the American ideal due to a variety of factors, including being born into poverty with no social ladders to get out of it.
As a nation and as a culture, we have real problems that need attention. It would be nice if we could stop infighting and admit that our diversity makes us stronger instead of being a liability. The more entrenched we become, the more rigid the battle lines, the more we will be torn apart. That is how nations fall - they get stuck in rigid programs with rigid decision making models that do not allow for change and adaptation. You fail to adapt you fail to survive. Simple evolution.
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| Cannon left over from the US Civil War |
What lies might those be? There is the great white washing of history, where we are told everyone came here of their own free will in pursuit of freedom and success. Well, sort of, except for all of those slaves that were imported, and all of the political exiles over the years, and what about the native populations that were already here... We are told that the country was found for religious freedoms, when in reality that was only a small segment of the early settlers, the rest were looking for economic gain both for themselves and their crown. We are told that the US has never lost a war, but what about the war of 1812, where we invaded Canada for not real reason other than our own expansionist ideals and were beaten back by the Canadians and the local Amerindians. That one has been expunged from our memory so much that even if you read the Wikipedia entry about the war it tells of US victory, although not as triumphantly as other wars, when the reality is more complicated. If Jefferson hadn't stated that the conquest of Canada would be a mere matter of marching, do we really think that just 40 years after our own independence we would feel competent enough to invade someone else? And these are just the historical fallicies that we pass down generation to generation as a matter of building patriotism. I find it sickening.
The worst of all the American cultural lies is the idea of supremecy over every other people on the planet. "We're #1" is the rallying cry of the brainwashed in this society, and it only gets worse during election season. How do the political parties try to make the opposition loose favor with the general populace? By showing them as making us less than the greatest by their standards of course. This politician is making us too european, and you don't want that because who would want to be like them? That politician will let all of the untrained, hapless rubbish from other countries that somehow managed to make it here citizens, which will dilute our greatness. The scapegoating of minorities gets to an all time high, whether it be ethnic or social minority makes no difference - if you are not part of mainstream consumerist USA you had better watch out or during election season the problems of the country will be placed squarely on your shoulders; by the way which is why we should limit your freedoms to preserve those of the mainstream. Or at least that is what the attack adds would have you believe.
This is the time of year that I avoid watching television because all you see during every commercial break is hatred and fearmongering. You rarely, if ever, see a positive add for a candidate that does not denegrate the opposition. It speaks a lot to the depravity of the political parties that they refuse to admit that there are multiple good people for the job, or even multiple viable solutions to our problems. No one person and no one ideology will save us from self destructions, which is essentially the problem we are having right now. The economy is sluggish right now because we believe in the power of capitalism, but if the masses don't have the resources to buy things, capitalism can't keep surging our GDP upwards. The solution? Give people more money to buy things, either through tax cuts (which just makes our federal cash flow problem worse) or by raising minimum wages (which makes those with the money mad because they feel like they earned their millions and don't need to share it with the workers who helped them make their millions) or through incentives (buy this new car and receive tax credits for the purchase).
All this reminds me of my favorite Sting song, "Russians", and in particular, a certain line that floats about my head each time I hear political banter: "There is no monopoly of common sense on either side of the political fence." While written about the historical Cold War between Russia and the West, particularly the US, I find the sentiment applies to any political stalemate. If only the mass populace would see it, or be allowed to even broach the idea, it could have a lot of good. At the very least we may be able to have a rational, educated debate about our problems instead of resorting to hysteria and gut reactions. The rash of gun violence in this country? Maybe that means we need to reexamine our gun laws to see if there is something we are actively doing that is making the situation worse. The unemployment rates? Maybe cutting all of the education funding wasn't such a good idea as we now don't have enough training centers to get people retooled for the jobs available, and the ones we do have are overbooked and overpriced to the point that the unemployed can't afford to retrain. Immigration? Maybe if we started seeing those coming here as human beings instead of "illegals" we might take a different approach. That doesn't mean no punishment for breaking the law, but it also doesn't mean treating them less than human which is part of our current practice along the desert borders. Social security nets, such as medicaid and welfare? If would be nice if both sides would agree that being poor is not a crime - they are not leeches on society that need to be treated with the same reproach as parolees from prison with constant drug testing and supervision. They are people that have not being able to acheive the American ideal due to a variety of factors, including being born into poverty with no social ladders to get out of it.
As a nation and as a culture, we have real problems that need attention. It would be nice if we could stop infighting and admit that our diversity makes us stronger instead of being a liability. The more entrenched we become, the more rigid the battle lines, the more we will be torn apart. That is how nations fall - they get stuck in rigid programs with rigid decision making models that do not allow for change and adaptation. You fail to adapt you fail to survive. Simple evolution.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Swelter and Swoon
Hello August! This is supposed to be the warmest day of the year so far and I am on bunny patrol, ie making sure that our furry friend Pico doesn't succomb to the heat. Rabbits apparently can't get warmer than 85 degrees, and the forecast edging close to 90 today means that all the blinds and curtains are drawn, the lights and electronics off, and I spend the day in the dark all for the protection of Pico.
I also have a high likelihood of swooning from the heat today as well. My health has taken another turn the past few weeks, and when I'm coming off of a symptomatic flare, everything seems heightened: I get vertigo again, my balance gets off, I'm more fatigued, etc. Some gelato or frozen yogurt or something will be called for today, as well as salad for dinner to avoid turning on the oven. It makes me feel like a wuss. I've lived in the desert for crying out loud and now 90 is causing me to worry.
This is the first morning in two weeks where I actually awoke energized, as if all the steroids are finally working their way out of my system. There are bound to be more of them in the coming weeks, but it's nice to feel a modicum of normalcy again even for a little while. We have the unfortunate task of deciding what to do about my "treatment" in the coming days, as it looks like being on nothing is not working. I just wish there were options that didn't involve needles. Well, I exaggerate, there is one on the market, but it is generally agreed upon within the MS community that it wasn't really ready - they were just desperate to have an oral medication option. It can cause dramatically lowered heart rate and apparently some people have died on it. That doesn't leave me feeling too much in a hurry to get on it. There are some more promising meds in the pipeline, but clinical trials are always sooo slow, especially when you are one of the ones waiting for the benefits. Once they start getting better treatments out, maybe the prices can start to come down. As it is, even with insurance, medication costs are in the thousands for most patients. The sticker shock of it all is enough to swoon over.
Last week after my last neuro appointment, the hubby and I were talking under a tree outside of my work before I went back, and this man came over relating his sob story about not qualifing for care from a free clinic because he is on disability, but not having enough money to go to a regular clinic, and needing a few bucks to get a prescription filled. When we told him that we couldn't help because were we just discussing how expensive our own medical costs are, his entire countenance changed. He went from trying to sell is on helping him out to offering help to us on how to get DSHS and Social Security help. He was lost in the quagmire of technicalities of an inefficient system and we are standing at the brink of an equally inefficient system just run by different entities.
Health care as a fee-for-use system doesn't work. No research gets funded unless you have someone with resources get sick. Where are the advocates for the voiceless sick, those without the resources to mobilize the masses with charity drives? Where is my therapeutic Olympic horse? Oh wait, you mean that I have to drop everything to go to any appointment during the work week because in order to maintain the health insurance to pay for said appointments I have to be at work instead, so that's not feasible if you want to get paid. Fee-for-use works great for spot maintenance, such as when you broke your arm roller skating and need acute care. Everybody has a body, therefore everybody needs to pay into and be involved in the system. That way, when your child develops a high fever at 4 am on a saturday morning there are systems in place for you to be able to get treatment instead of waiting for it to get higher and be forced to go the ER (which is supposed to be a last resort, not your primary access point).
Bleh, I hate this issue. I just seems so clearly simple to me, but I never feel like it is articulated well and people are always arguing over it. Upfront costs vs delayed costs. I'll take upfront monthly payments to have something covered later over not paying anything now and being stuck with tens of thousands of dollars out of the blue. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if those who refuse to pay into the system through insurance actually put the money into a dedicated medical only spending account so that they have something when the unexpected arises. Instead they just spend it on other things and then beg the hospitals to lower their bills because they didn't plan for mishaps. It's irresponsible. You don't go to a restaurant and eat a large meal because you didn't eat earlier and then ask the restaurant to forgive the debt, and yet we think it's ok to act this way for medical care.
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| Desert wildflowers from Tucson this past March. They do much better in the heat than I. |
This is the first morning in two weeks where I actually awoke energized, as if all the steroids are finally working their way out of my system. There are bound to be more of them in the coming weeks, but it's nice to feel a modicum of normalcy again even for a little while. We have the unfortunate task of deciding what to do about my "treatment" in the coming days, as it looks like being on nothing is not working. I just wish there were options that didn't involve needles. Well, I exaggerate, there is one on the market, but it is generally agreed upon within the MS community that it wasn't really ready - they were just desperate to have an oral medication option. It can cause dramatically lowered heart rate and apparently some people have died on it. That doesn't leave me feeling too much in a hurry to get on it. There are some more promising meds in the pipeline, but clinical trials are always sooo slow, especially when you are one of the ones waiting for the benefits. Once they start getting better treatments out, maybe the prices can start to come down. As it is, even with insurance, medication costs are in the thousands for most patients. The sticker shock of it all is enough to swoon over.
Last week after my last neuro appointment, the hubby and I were talking under a tree outside of my work before I went back, and this man came over relating his sob story about not qualifing for care from a free clinic because he is on disability, but not having enough money to go to a regular clinic, and needing a few bucks to get a prescription filled. When we told him that we couldn't help because were we just discussing how expensive our own medical costs are, his entire countenance changed. He went from trying to sell is on helping him out to offering help to us on how to get DSHS and Social Security help. He was lost in the quagmire of technicalities of an inefficient system and we are standing at the brink of an equally inefficient system just run by different entities.
Health care as a fee-for-use system doesn't work. No research gets funded unless you have someone with resources get sick. Where are the advocates for the voiceless sick, those without the resources to mobilize the masses with charity drives? Where is my therapeutic Olympic horse? Oh wait, you mean that I have to drop everything to go to any appointment during the work week because in order to maintain the health insurance to pay for said appointments I have to be at work instead, so that's not feasible if you want to get paid. Fee-for-use works great for spot maintenance, such as when you broke your arm roller skating and need acute care. Everybody has a body, therefore everybody needs to pay into and be involved in the system. That way, when your child develops a high fever at 4 am on a saturday morning there are systems in place for you to be able to get treatment instead of waiting for it to get higher and be forced to go the ER (which is supposed to be a last resort, not your primary access point).
Bleh, I hate this issue. I just seems so clearly simple to me, but I never feel like it is articulated well and people are always arguing over it. Upfront costs vs delayed costs. I'll take upfront monthly payments to have something covered later over not paying anything now and being stuck with tens of thousands of dollars out of the blue. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if those who refuse to pay into the system through insurance actually put the money into a dedicated medical only spending account so that they have something when the unexpected arises. Instead they just spend it on other things and then beg the hospitals to lower their bills because they didn't plan for mishaps. It's irresponsible. You don't go to a restaurant and eat a large meal because you didn't eat earlier and then ask the restaurant to forgive the debt, and yet we think it's ok to act this way for medical care.
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